Resolutions Aren't Very Resolute
Why There's No Dramatic Music
RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.
Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary
That Scene From Mulan
There’s a scene in the Disney film Mulan - the animated one, thank you very much - where Mulan decides to take her infirm father’s place in the army. It’s storming outside (because of course it is), and Mulan is struggling with the fact that her father is extremely unlikely to survive being drafted.
The music swells, and she reaches a decision: she will take action to prevent this from happening. She cuts her hair, dons her father’s armor, and rides away into the night.
Whenever I make a resolution - to do better, to be a better friend or sibling or child or human being - this scene is what I think about, and how I feel.
And then I wake up the next morning and continue being the person I was yesterday.
The Idea of a Resolution
I think about this moment in Mulan a lot. Perhaps I just have a lot of moments when I want to make commitments to do better and an overdeveloped sense of drama.
And yet, there’s something powerful in the idea of a resolution, isn’t there?
In resolving to do something, to remember the past or forge a better future.
It isn’t just me, either. When the United Nations wants to express their opinion or will, they issue a resolution.
Then you have this:
Resolutions are serious. They are solemn.
They rank somewhere in the scale of promises, oaths, covenants, vows, and pledges. They are commitment, they are meaningful, and they are binding.
At least, they’re supposed to be binding. As basically everyone who’s ever made a New Year’s resolution has observed, they tend to be binding for about four to six weeks, at which point going to the gym in the morning becomes too inconvenient.
Resolute Resolutions
There are cases, both real and fictional, of truly resolute resolutions.
Fictional:
In Harry Potter we have the Unbreakable Vow.
In Irish mythology we have the geas, a curse that restricts behavior but can convey benefits when obeyed (and severe punishments when broken).
Real:
Cortés’ decision to scuttle his own ships so his men would have no choice but to fight
Churchill’s bodily fluid speech: “That this House welcomes the formation of a Government representing the united and inflexible resolve of the nation to prosecute the war with Germany to a victorious conclusion.”
But ordinary life, day-to-day life, wherein one is not attempting to topple an empire or inspire a nation to resist the Third Reich, is not so dramatic, and the resolutions made there are far less likely to hold true.
What Is A Resolution, Really?
A resolution is a moment in time.
That’s all it is - a single moment of time when we, in our brains, feel strongly about the way we want the future to unfold.
Put that way, it’s no wonder that most resolutions don’t amount to anything. They are temporary, fleeting feelings, expressions of a wish that we have for things to be different.
It also makes sense why I always make my resolutions to the stirring sounds of orchestral scores and imagine a thunderstorm helpfully punctuating my promises with lightning and thunder. Resolutions are an emotional act, and so they are processed emotionally.
Be Determined, Not Resolute
A full examination of how to make changes to one’s life is well beyond the scope of this post.
But I do think it’s clear that resolving to do something is uncorrelated with the thing actually being accomplished.
So what should you do instead?
Concisely, what’s worked for me is applying structure to my life in specific ways. Instead of resolving to be different, I create habits and use todo lists. When I want something to change, I build in different structures. I experiment.
Most of the time, my experiments don’t work, and I’m right back where I started.
But I still keep trying. Not because I’m resolved to do better, but because I’m determined.
I’m determined to determine my life.
Unlike a resolution, that’s not an emotional statement; it’s an expression of a preference ordering over possible world-states.
Being determined isn’t a commitment or a decision. It isn’t past-me trying to constrain future-me.
So when I’m tired and all my previous resolutions crumble in the face of emotional exhaustion, when I don’t care about how past-me felt or what past-me tried to commit to, I still prefer to live in worlds where I determine my own fate, the same way I still prefer chocolate to vanilla.
Conclusion
Resolutions, whether made at New Years, by the United Nations, or by anyone else at any other date, are indicative only that you possessed a wish for the world to be different at a particular moment in time.
That’s it.
Real change doesn’t come from dramatic moments. Resolutions punctuated by storms and involving haircuts are unlikely to last beyond the emotions that drove them.
Focus on the process and structure of change.
Focus on which world-states you prefer, out of those immediately or shortly accessible to you.
Focus on your determination.
And above all, don’t resolve to make a change.
Just make it.